As part of his investigations into human nature, Schopenhauer has a few words to say about politeness.
In a more serious philosophical work, On the Basis of Morality, Schopenhauer describes politeness as a phenomenon that arose in order to mask the inherent egoism of human beings.
Schopenhauer’s cynical view of politeness holds that, by agreeing to be polite to each other, we agree to overlook the faults and defects in the personality or the intelligence of the other. This makes the faults less obtrusive from both sides, and results in a win-win arrangement where dealing with people in general just becomes more tolerable.
We should be careful not to confuse politeness with genuine love for our neighbour. Politeness, when compared to true love or kindness, is a technicality. Just like justice in the court of law is different from justice coming from an integrity of the heart.
Politeness, being a technicality, can therefore be used to our advantage just as we would use a machine to our advantage.
What is interesting to note is that, for Schopenhauer, being polite is not really a goal in itself. It’s more of a clever play in order to get what you want more easily.
Because, and Schopenhauer never tires of laboring the point, most people don’t actually deserve your politeness.
Why is that? Isn’t it good to always be polite no matter what?
Well, not exactly. Remember that in Schopenhauer’s conception, politeness arises because two people reach a mutual but silent agreement. The agreement is that each ignores the flaws of the other in order to move the social interaction along.
In Schopenhauer’s estimation, most people are so flawed that it actually becomes disingenuous to treat them politely, and to ignore these obvious character flaws just to get along.
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